Good News, Everyone!

I have my first actually-in-a-book-made-of-paper-got-paid-for-it-‘n’-all-publication!

It’s not Nocturn. No, the world isn’t quite ready for that one just yet 😉 But my journey to the lofty heights of writerdom is underway and, like most things in life, it starts with a bit of zombie erotica.

Hold up – what?

Okay, let’s backtrack a little. A few weeks back I mentioned that I’d come up with what I thought was the best piece of poetic writing I’ve ever done. Well, turns out a few other people think it’s not all that bad either, and so the piece has made its way into Rigor Amortis, an anthology of zombie sex, horror, and for my part at least, wry comedy. ‘There’s Plenty of Room in my Heart’ (such is the title)  tugs – hungrily – at the old heartstrings, and ponders whether love can conquer the occasional over-enthusiastic love-bite and the odd bit of exposed viscera. ‘Tis a charming tale!

More details as and when the date of publication approaches, but there we have it – no longer just a writer, but an author. How about that, eh? 😀

Much Mochage

Free wifi cafés are wonderful places. Let us take a moment to appreciate their gracious offer of potentially limitless internet access (so long as you sip your iced mocha really, really slowly).

I think I wrote my best piece of poetic writing ever yesterday, while on the train to Leicester (successfully managing to get the connecting train from Derby, natch).  The tale of a forbidden love between one man and his zombie sweetheart, entitled ‘There’s Plenty of Room in my Heart’ (in reference to the Dawn of the Dead line, “When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth”), it’s a deadly serious piece…

Other than that, a T-shirt that I’d ordered online arrived, which was good… However, over the  duration of the day I had to fend off two people who wanted to buy it off me, and one who wanted to do a straight shirt-swap, right in the middle of the train. Hands off!

For those curious, the T-shirt says this:

*Chuckles*

Anyhow, this is the beginning of my last week here in Leicester, and it feels very strange. After six years, the time to move on seems to be approaching with all the serene patience of a speeding freight train, so I’d better stop writing, drain the 1cm of mocha I’ve been carefully maintaining for the last half-hour, and start packing!

Hm, lots of train-centric things seem to happen to me. Wow. To paraphrase Kim Pine, right now, if my life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch my life in the face.

Hallowe’en Howls

Happy Hallowe’en, flies ‘n ghouls!

I’m going to York to take part in a ‘zombie walk’, which will either be great fun, or it’ll rain like hell and we’ll just be a couple of hundred soggy undead squelching round the city…

Edit:

Due to ‘financial issues’ (don’t ask), I can’t afford a train ticket to York, so no zombie walking for me. I’m so broke, it’s scary…  ah well, looks like I’ve hit a dead end. I’m going to try and raise my spirits somehow. Ahah. Hah. Hmm.

Zombies – Vitamin the head

Here is an idea that could potentially save the human race. My housemate Ben and I were thinking a few days ago; if there was a zombie outbreak, for long-term survival the biggest problem is likely to be food – getting yourself enough nutrition if you’re holed up somewhere that you can’t leave. Now, in a previous discussion I had with my supercuz Indi, we concluded that ideally, you’d get to an island or an enclosed space like a football stadium that can be locked down, where you can grow your own crops on the field / pump fresh water.

Unfortunately, the likelihood (insofar that any of this is likely ;D ) of that is pretty low. So, the question is this: Is it possible to live off vitamin pills? Surely if you stock up on loads of bottles of all the various vitamins and minerals that make up the meat / veggies we eat then that would substitute all the necessary sustainance you’d need. Also, pills last indefinitely, so no worries about having to re-supply.

That got me thinking – if we can substitute our food with vitamins, so can the zombies, right? Mmm, vitamin brains! You find a zombie, point first to your head, then to your bottle of vitamins, while making encouraging tummy rubbing motions (“Mmm, gooood,”). It might take a bit of salesmanship to convince the zombie, but eventually, the word will spread as they tell their shuffling friends about these easy to munch brain-substitutes, and voila, after a few weeks you have zombies that are: no longer a threat, and also healthy! How’s about that for a turnaround?

(Re. title – Vitamin the head –  hit ’em in the head… as that’s how you take out zombies… yeah alright, back to the drawing board with that one ¬_¬)