Doesn’t He Remember What Happened to Samson?

Photo 392

As any writer worth their salt knows, an author’s literary chops are directly proportional to the amount of facial hair he or she has. (Ain’t that right, Fifthwinders?!) The only reason I even managed to write a completed first draft of a novel is because I was unemployed for most of that time and so had had the freedom to maintain a decent level of beardliness!

As this period is rapidly coming to a close however, I’m sadly forced to start doing things like -gasp- getting haircuts and, as of tomorrow, shaving regularly to get into the swing of things for when I actually have to present myself as a professional individual and all that. Plus, the other day I was ordering a pint in a bar and as the barmaid was handing me the glass, it cracked and the top half of it exploded! Maybe the concentrated aura of writing power around the beard is building to critical mass… (In all seriousness, it was quite odd!)

So fair warning – if the quality of my writing begins to slide quicker than oiled-up jelly on an ice rink, you know why ๐Ÿ˜‰


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6 Responses to “Doesn’t He Remember What Happened to Samson?”

  1. amberbiesinger Says:

    Seriously!!! Wheres my beard you boys said you’d get me one!! I am unloved *sob sob sob* (nice pic btw ๐Ÿ˜‰ killer headphones )

  2. Alex Masterson Says:

    Thanks! Yeah, I’d hate to be without ’em. They’ve got a sweet bass kick ๐Ÿ˜€

    And the beard works in mysterious ways, don’t fret! Chances are you’ll wake up one morning and find a pleasantly surprising layer of stubble just sprung out of nowhere. You’ll probably out-beard us all!

    Something to aim for, anyway ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. K. Kiser Says:

    Do ass-beards count?

    Ooops, did I just say that out loud?

    Um… er…. sorry.. gotta go. ๐Ÿ˜›

    • Alex Masterson Says:


      Absolutely. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned from the people on the internets, it’s that shaving arse hair is NEVER a good idea!

      Man, that guy’s story was hilarious though!

  4. Andrew Says:

    Damn, that must have been one powerful beard to just break the glass. I’m impressed man, very impressed.

    • Alex Masterson Says:

      Hehe yeah, that was also the *second* glass that smashed – about 30 seconds previously she dropped the first pint she was pouring. I tell you, partly I wanted to shave just so I can get served without destroying half the bar’s stock of glasses ;D

      And hey, you should give it a shot yourself, dude! You might be able to harness that power where I failed ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

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