A few entries back, I mentioned that there was a tale-in-waiting which deserved to have an entry dedicated to it. As it turns out, it needs more like two, so here’s part one of that story, dragged out of the dungeons of my memory, 100% true. To set the scene: I was travelling back to Leicester from York by train in horrendous weather, and arrived at the station of a small, grimy town called Derby, where I was to change trains to continue my journey…
.It was a dark and stormy night; I think you know the kind I watched my connecting train depart… while I’d been left behind And the story of what happened next I wrote out for you all But the tale came out so long it would’ve filled the entire wall So here instead are the events, rewritten in poetry form, Of what can happen stranded in Derby, in the middle of a storm Oh, and just one crucial point – to add to my bad luck – My phone battery had up ‘n died (Yeah I know; I suck 😉 ) .
Time: 9:00 pm
At nine o clock I missed my train, the connection had been late The next one? Half-past five AM; so now, I’m thinking ‘Great...” Then I saw a pub nearby, and headed towards the lights To be told: “Closing early, love. Sorry, it’s one of those nights! You’d best head into town by foot – it’s only half an hour.” Which was fine, ‘til five minutes in, the sky began to shower So watch me leg it down Main Street, while folk in taxis gloat (I’ll leave it up to you to guess, whether I had brought a coat.) . 10:00 pm .
Thankfully I soon found a bar, sporting a sign which said: “SUNDAY NIGHT IS BAND NIGHT, SO COME IN AND ROCK YOUR HEAD!” “Band night eh, that doesn’t sound bad,” I thought, with optimism Then discovered that ignorance is bliss, faced with Nu Metal rhythm. However there was entertainment to find, in braving these aural assaults By talking snobbily with some guy, about each band’s musical faults. He’d been a friend of Robert Plant; so I ensured that we shook hands While he reminisced about Zeppelin – “So much better than these shitty bands…” . 12:00 am .
That place closed around midnight, so time for some more bar-hopping But now I had to hurry it up, with the temperature rapidly dropping And it seemed that a club called ‘Fusion’ was the only available place So I lingered in its doorway, spine shaking along with the bass. I was just minding my own business there, when one of the bouncers asked If I was coming in or not, and I had to convince him fast; I didn’t have much money left by now, and less desire to spend it here So I explained myself and pointed out that the weather was quite severe The doorman laughed at this and then, after talking to his mate, Suggested I help out on the door – “Beats freezing, at any rate!” . 2:00 am .
So I became a Fusion bouncer – well, at least for a while Until the nightclub had to close, and I continued on my trial. Through rain and wind and metal and bass, so far I had survived I could only hope to hold my ground, until the train arrived. But there were strange things waiting to happen in the intermittant time And they my friends, will be the subject, of the next entry’s rhyme… .